26 Letters, 26 Drabbles
by FreakingCrazy
Summary: Hobbit Drabbles, one for each letter in the alphabet. Includes AUs.


A, Arrow. Kíli shot arrows, and always used the bow as his weapon of choice. He was mocked for this, by both adults and his peers, supposedly because using a bow was a decidedly un-Dwarflike thing to do and done only by those weed-eating elves and desperate Men who wished to copy them. Still Kíli used his arrows and bow anyway, having learned that if he stopped doing that, attention would immediately shift to his unhairy face and then he'd never hear the end about how elven-like that was.

B, Broken. Every single time on the quest, every single time, something dies in Bilbo a little more when he is glared at or hears the word "halfling". He wonders what in Middle-earth they think he is half of anyway, but doesn't ask. After he saves Thorin and he is thanked by the king himself, things start to heal slowly. He isn't glared at anymore, and they call him by his name. Then Thorin goes and banishes him and gets killed along with Fíli and Kíli and there is no hope of recovery.

C, Cruel. Azog is a menace to all who dare cross him or get in his way. But Bilba has had it up to here with Orcs and Wargs and Thorin being a bloody idiot, so she charges at him with all the fury a hobbit can have. She not only got in his way, she smacked and stabbed him out of hers.

D, Dragon. Tiny runt of a Firedrake Bilbo Baggins had never expected 14 much larger dragons on his doorstep, even if one of them was the renowned Gandalf the Gray who had known his mother. No, he did not want to go on an adventure to take back some huge kingdom from the fearsome Smaug the terrible. As if the name wasn't warning enough, apparently Smaug was a Hobbit, a race of creatures known for being ridiculously small yet terrifying when equipped with their favorite weapon, a frying pan.

E, Earned. It's selfish to think he's earned the Arkenstone, but hasn't he? Bilbo has saved the Dwarves' hides so many times he's lost count. He saved them from the spiders, saved Thorin from Azog, got them out of Mirkwood... Oh, who is Bilbo fooling? He doesn't keep the Arkenstone out of greed or fear, he keeps it from Thorin because he wants to protect everyone. He'll later give it away for the same purpose.

F, Female. Bilbo Baggins was the fourteenth member of the company, yes, but he liked to think he wasn't the slowest. He is flabbergasted then, that it was not until halfway into their quest that he finds out his thirteen traveling companions are all female. They are, in turn, flabbergasted that it took him so long to figure it out. Thorin wasn't hard, not when she was more or less introduced as a Queen in exile, and Fíli and Kíli were referred to often enough as her nieces, so they weren't hard either. Everyone else, however, seemed to really like using gender neutral terms like "sibling" instead of "sister", so hopefully he can be forgiven for not realizing it sooner. Hopefully he can also be forgiven for kicking Gandalf, who found it so amusing, in the shins when the wizard laughed.

G, Gold. Thorin Oakenshield had sworn, time and time again, that he would not fall to gold sickness like his grandfather had. Somehow, he had lied well enough to convince even himself of this. When he fell, it was his second greatest shame, the first being his banishing Bilbo.

H, Hollow. "Sir, the Arkenstone is really just that, a stone. An empty one that's all metal and meaningless. It's a beautiful ship, yes, but Smaug the defiler owns it now and we need to take him down." "No! That ship is mine, it rightfully belongs to me! We shall not damage that ship, we'll find some other way to destroy the worm. That's a direct order, do not fire at that ship!"

I, Intricate. Bilbo sees nothing special of Erebor when he really takes a good hard look at it. It's fancy and furnished and beautiful even when decaying, but it's just cold stone. There are no gardens or plants to bring life to the mountain, and the only valuable thing Bilbo can see in it is that it's his friends' home. He doesn't understand why, but he knows they've claimed it and it's there's.

J, Jolt. Hobbits routinely go into hibernation, a fact well known to them but not at all known to the Big Folk, save friends of Hobbits. So, one can only imagine the shock, horror, and fear that spreads through the original company when their burglar goes missing shortly after they reclaim Erebor. Wild accusation fly, and most agree it must eitehr be kidnapping or, angry as the thought makes them, assassination. Gandalf has not laughed so hard in centuries.

K, Knitting. Ori knits for family and for close friends. He's been teased for it but pays such no mind, because he knows they've never experienced the joys of knitting or the thrill of getting something knitted just for them with love and care. The saddest thing he's ever knitted, also with love and care that's beyond measure, is a woolen banner of sorts that says goodbye to the king and his nephews.

L, Live. It's Bofur who finds, rather, trips over, the injured burglar. Thorin has been searching high and low for their missing company member, determined to apologize. Bofur somehow manages to pluck the ring from Bilbo in order to make him visible so he can see the damage, he's no healer, but he wants to see how serious it is. He did not expect Bilbo, sweet Bilbo, to suddenly awake and try to strangle him in his bloodied state. There is something off about the ring, but Bofur'll deal will that after he can get the burglar some medical help.

M, Mother. Bilba Baggins, despite being known for her kind and understanding nature when not yelling at kings about not being stupid, had very firmly told her husband that nearly dying in childbirth was only going to happen to her once. As it was, Bofur was very glad to have his wife safe and sound along with two beautiful healthy children.

N, Nick. Nori was a thief. Everyone knew it, Dori, Dwalin, Ori, the baker from down the road who was chasing him with a very menacing rolling pin. Mahal! It had only been a bag of gold, how could one make a rolling pin look menacing? Unfortunately, Nori had botched this one up thanks to his older brother showing up last minute to yell at him about stealing from the Baker in front of the Baker. If he was right... Yup, there was Dori right behind the baker with another one of those cursed rolling pins.

O, Official. Bilbo is Thorin's consort, a fact that makes the company cheer when they hear the two idiots finally got it straight. Many Dwarves are not pleased at all, unfortunately, by this development. Assassination attempts become common place, and most fail only due to good luck. It's scary and it's hard, but the two will get through it somehow. If they don't, the company will just drag them out of it.

P, Picnic. It's been decades since the company has been able to get together like this and just enjoy a lunch together. They all know it won't ever be like it was during their journey, a thought which makes most glare somewhat at a downcast Thorin. Fíli and Kíli are just as mad at him, but they also try to defend their uncle by changing the conversation abruptly or glaring right back. It hurts, though, to know that there is certainly no chance of their fourteenth member ever dining with them again.

Q, Queen. Queen Dís rules Erebor with a mighty fist, pleasant and kind in one moment and brutally vicious in the next. Children were taught to obey every rule of queen Dís would come and set them straight like she did her brother. And set him straight she did, giving him a beat down as soon as he was healed and making it so that Erebor was ruled by a matriarchy. Her sons were not spared her wrath, and to this day they say that Kíli still screams at night while his brother has never lost that twitch. On the bright side, she supposedly gets along well with Bilbo Baggins and... Mahal have mercy on us.

R, Royal. Few ever approach the Shire king, so many are shocked when thirteen Dwarves unceremoniously descend upon the royal smial and treat king Bilbo like any other Hobbit. He learns later from Gandalf that they did and do not know of his royal stature, so he tries to be a good sport and keep them in the dark. He shudders, however, at the thought of what they could've done to any normal respectable Hobbit and his home.

S, Sting. The Stinger, He Who Stings Unseen, and more are all titles that frighten the spiders of Mirkwood. They know he lives, no mortal being could cause such damage It must be an immortal spirit of some kind or other, brought to haunt them for their kills and feasting. A certain Hobbit would probably laugh if he knew just what the spiders thought of their encounter.

T, Terror. Lady Dís was feared by all Dwarves who wished to keep their heads and beards properly attached to their bodies. She was feared even more so after she went on a rampage that put Smaug's to shame. After all, while scary enough normally, she was down right terrifying after seeing the bodies of her sons and brother.

U, Under. Most Dwarves spent the majority of their lives deep in the mountains with fuzzy memories of the outside world at best. It concerns them not, save what the men will trade with them and what potential enemies might rise. Way, way back when, millennia ago, some Dwarves never left their mountain at all, provided food by trade and never daring nor caring to take one look outside.

V, Victory. In another world, Thorin would be declared King of Erebor and Kíli and Fíli would be alive to see it. They would create an almost perfect kingdom, Thorin stern but just and his nephews there to make everything bright and to keep his spirits afloat. But, Bilbo thought bitterly as he watched an unworthy Dáin be crowned king, that world was not this one.

W, Wolves. All creatures of Middle-earth could shape shift into their wolf-form, a fact well known to all. Whether it be the sturdy and stocky forms the Dwarves had, the sleek and limber forms the Elves had, or even the grotesque Warg-like forms the Orcs took on, every creature had a form. Every creature, that is, save Hobbits. Hobbits did not have a wolf-form. No, instead they had a form both strange to outsiders and well fitting to those who knew better; fox-forms.

X, Xi. Fourteen, the "lucky number". Some lucky number, he couldn't save Thorin. That's what haunts Bilbo; He should've been there to save him somehow, fix all of this. But he wasn't there and he didn't get there in time, so he didn't save him. It makes him so bitter, to think about it, so he tries not to. He can't stay with his friends, though, Bilbo knows. There would be nothing but empty memories.

Y, Years. What are years to Dwarves? They are like incredibly long months, much shorter than they seem to Men and Hobbits. That's the issue, though. It occurs to Balin one night when the camp is entirely silent save for snoring that if they both die of old age, their burglar would probably die first. His comrades are equally disturbed by this when they find out.

Z, Zoo. They are _not_ creatures on display, but no one else in Middle-earth seems to realize that. The Men either find them repulsive or funny, the Elves detest them, even the old wizard is just amused at best and irritated at worst. They used to be one of, if not the, greatest races in the world, but now they were treated like some circus act to tease and gawk at.


End file.
